were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
