I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
