I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize