Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
