Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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