VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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