I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
