Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
