you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
