yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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