I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Randomize
