those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
