You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
