Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
