Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
