I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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