his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
