I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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