Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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