I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
