Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
