ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
