no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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