you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
