everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
