I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
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