Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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