Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
