dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize