Jerry, you need to find god
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
