It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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