Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
