Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
