idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
