i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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