just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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