His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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