Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
