I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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