Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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