I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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