She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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