Don't you send me to vm
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
