He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just had sex on a roof
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
