Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
