Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
