Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
