the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
