And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize