i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
