New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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