Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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