Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That accounts for only three of the penises
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
