Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Someone signed my nipple.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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