I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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