I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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