Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
