She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Never joke about your clitoris.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
